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Misplaced Metanoia Mixtape

by Royal Grand Warden

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1.
Like I'm not gonna sound fake on some introduction track? This isn't the preface to a book, It's not the prelude to a fugue, It's not a prologue to a play... If you have something to say this is the perfect time to keep it to yourself; Maybe you could try listening...
2.
I'm a wolf; I'm a sinner. But Lord knows I ain't half as bad as you You're a ghost and a cynic, But it ain't over yet, baby blue. Now that we're grown but we still seem to hate ourselves, What can we do now? I'm a joke, a hypocrite, But you have always known that about me. You'll get stoned, and get over it, Because it's not like you've lived your life perfectly. So now that we're grown but we still seem to hate ourselves, What can we do now that we're alone and we still love each other? Little Brother...
3.
Angel Wings 01:39
Fog falls from the trees like icicles melt, As cold as I've been to my friends before... But it seems that these mysterious rain drops are for me, Sent with hope that I'd know it was more than just the weather... I realized that the fog had crept over the Caldecott, Searching for someone like me... And this water could cleanse my soul better than any four-story church, Or a priest with a college degree. You have been given to me as a second chance: I am Lucifer's angel wings and his halo. I may be broken, but I'll still glow brighter than when I was in Hell.
4.
When I get up to the mountain top, I'll write songs of how hard I fought. When I get up, they're gonna make me king, And I'll give you what you want. I'll give you everything. When I get up, I'm gonna search for you. I'm gonna bring you home to your new bedroom. In my castle, on the mountain top, Where I sing at the top of my lungs for the things I've lost... I close my eyes and struggle with nightmares, While the crown lay safe on the fireside chair. I close my eyes and the kingdom come, All my guilt; All my demons... I close my eyes and had a crazy dream Where I killed myself, with a knife it seemed. Caught red-handed, watching myself bleed, I stood there Now I'm the king of me...
5.
A jug of wine split between my friends and me Before the matinee at the gallery Reflections of little deaths portray the human helplessness. It helps me identify with our dying breath And hell if I don't find that comforting, Knowing that when I go I'm not taking anything But the camera only shows what she thinks she knows And she whispers, "My thoughts never decompose" But the camera only shows what she thinks she knows And she's showing me alone Before you inevitably say goodbye to me I'll have our daguerreotypes, our dead memories. Reflections of little deaths help my soul undress, Leaving me in my own delighted rest. I fell in love with a machine, Knowing that I would die without changing anything But she'll stop haunting me Eventually Hopefully
6.
Azure Eyes 01:17
My Muse may have left me for another city My Muse probably left me for another man You know, I hardly noticed. I've been pretty busy... I've learned to cloak a half-cocked smile Lying with my eyes essentially I've been struggling to find my enlightenment Doubting now that it'll be Heaven sent For a minute I was looking inside my gregarious friends But it might be in reclusive silence... At this point, what I know is that I don't know.
7.
There's never enough summer for you And I'll be taking the blame. We worship our storm gods alone Pretending that they're not the same You dream of sunshine and I pray for rain Are we in love? I simply tire from the question I'm asking my actions to shout out loud, "Are you sure of your doubts and assumptions?" Because I am dreaming of clouds and you pray for Sunlight There's never a winter with you Just temporary shades The mourning is over by the afternoon Marine Layer haze burns away but I know there's a way where we both can stay Under the sun, enjoying the heat from the shade After all, my skin is sunburned red from basking in your UV rays Now you're playing Tom Waits, drinking chardonnay Believing in love, believing in witches and princes We fell in love, as did our walls of defenses
8.
Nevermind 02:05
Spoke to a stone wall all afternoon Discovered my apathy had a cynical tooth But soon I'll come across you and everything will be all right So nevermind... Lunch with a birdbath; Scrub Jay blues They told me my poetry had never sounded so mute But soon I'll come across you and everything will be all right So nevermind... Met with Thelonious to decipher your moods Crepuscule and star charts can't tell me what to do No, I'll always love you So nevermind... Fell asleep on my last poem that you'll never read through I met your friends in a dream last night As they were leaving the room, and that included you. Is everything fine this time?
9.
10.
Oh ghost, I remember the apparitions We tried to see eye-to-eye, but your pupils were translucent white Oh ghost, with logic surely sacrificed, The oscillating moans reverberate in my bones Afraid I may have lost my mind I hear your voice Haunted vocal cords Oh ghost, will you leave me alone? Your spirit's transcending, I can't keep pretending that this is our home. Tortured soul, I hope you finally find your peace For I'll forever be haunted by the idea of you and me. I hear your voice Haunted vocal cords
11.
Quiet Scoff 01:07
I know birds fly to the sky to get closer to that Song of Truth So I figured that man speaks to better understand a universal language Sometimes I can hear the mimicked tune sung mid-flight Colliding with your prayers in the sky. I can't yet hear what you're saying, but I am keen to your thoughts "All is not lost," I quietly scoff.
12.
Peter Parker 03:14
I'm no Jesus I'll never wear thorns I drink way more water than wine and I'd sink to the ocean floor. I'm no savior Not even an archetype But I'll perform miracles when the time's right I'm no genius Not even a role model But I'll find morality in the growth of the trees and the flight of the swallow I'm no shaman Not even the healer-type But I'll perform miracles when the time's right I'm no Jesus Not even a Peter Parker Responsibility keeps chasing me The darker the hour
13.
Are we alone? Will we ever know? Will we stop asking questions, disenchanted with the answers? We, the curious breed, have passed down mythologies Creating what we can't explain in stories told by open flame Words start racing in our imaginations, filled with dreams and revelations Interpreting Interpretations If read out loud, what prophets have written down will sound like ancient stories found while excavating Mediterranean holy ground Hypocrites and hatred casting brothers to damnation Each salvaged soul self-medicated Interpreting Interpretations So who can you listen to when nobody will tell the truth? Your mom's a saint; your dad's confused. You find religious views in bottles of booze. Is your soul worth saving? You'll find the answer waiting in pious prayer or meditation Interpreting Interpretations
14.
15.
Old Soul 04:53
My mother was raised by a drunkard But if I met him I would have shook his hand Because we've all got our vices And I was taught to never look down on another man My father was raised by a Mason He can see the Architect in his eye We've all got our questions Hidden behind the faith we claim to have survived Oh old soul, why are we innately so vulnerable? Tired of searching for rabbit holes inside of the bramble, Will you please find us a place that we can call our home? They say it takes a village to raise a child, to tame our wild But we all know one fucking kid can raze our cities to the ground Oh old soul, why are we innately so vulnerable? Tired of searching for rabbit holes inside of the bramble, Will you please find us a place that we can call our home? We were (raised/razed) on pills and statistics Braces and ADHD diagnostics The same as our brothers and sisters We all sound like this We all sound like this
16.
There's a pessimistic side of me that makes this process entertaining To misquote a king of introspection Henry David Thoreau I wouldn't write like this You know, about me If I knew anyone as well as I know myself.

about

"... and Royal Grand Warden to the Knights of Morality, and Sublime Grand Marshal of the Good Templars, and there warn't no fancy apron agoing but he had a sample, and no turnout but he was in the procession, with his banner or his sword, or toting a bible on a tray, and looking awful serious and responsible, and yet not getting a cent."
"Tom Sawyer's Conspiracy" written by Mark Twain in 1897

credits

released June 23, 2015

All music and lyrics written by Royal Grand Warden

All sounds made by Joel Davidson and recorded on a USB microphone in Berkeley, CA in a living room

except the rain sounds on "Azure Eyes" and "Pray for Sunlight", the subway talkers on "Quiet Scoff" and "Peter Parker", and the drum circle music on the second half of "War/Drum Ellipse"
those were recorded with an iPhone 4


Album Artwork by Mary Molly Murphy O'Brien

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Royal Grand Warden Oakland, California

2 lo-fi 4 u

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